Ah, the holidays. Time for gifts, parties, families, and dodging Aunt Wilma's fruitcake. Children are learning to give, Salvation Army Santas adorn every corner, and parents peacefully interact with each other as they try to buy their children's favorite toy. Well, maybe if this was a perfect world, that would be the case. As it is, children greedily make lists of the newest, most expensive interactive toys and parents are trying desperately to keep up with their kids' demands, fighting each other, and exuding anything but good will.

People call them holidays. Holidays from what? Stress, fatigue, anxiety? Not likely. It's more like departure from reason and peace of mind.

It's not that I don't like this time of year. I do. I love the smell of Christmas trees, the sound of carols on the radio, and the feeling of familiarity that the season brings. I just hate that I never have enough time to enjoy those things.

December seems to be the month where everyone decides to hold a party, concert, church service, and so on because, after all, Christmas comes but once a year. I wish that once it came I was able to enjoy it.

The ideal holiday season to me would be a hiatus from all the things that make the rest of my life a hectic mess. It would be a time to spend with my family and try to recapture my childhood. Hey, just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean that I can't reminisce about the good old days: the year my brother's stocking caught fire, the time the big red plastic bow melted to the outside light, and, my all-time favorite, watching the oven in flames during Thanksgiving. (I don't know what it is about my family and fire. Maybe we're just pyromaniacs.)

One of the most memorable Christmases I ever had was the year I found out that Santa Claus was actually my parents. Instead of the common disappointment at being disillusioned, I was thrilled. I reasoned that if my parents had toys to give me then, why not during the rest of the year?

Anyhow, those are a few of the memories I love most about the holidays from my childhood. They were always so different from the rest of the year : the way people felt, the way they acted, even the air they breathed seemed somehow more alive and exciting. That's what I miss most about Christmas now. It isn't the extra time I had, it was the way I lived and how slow the days went. As I grow up, it seems that the faster I move trying to get everything done, the more time speeds up to challenge me.

I think that's the key element in making the holiday season a time of peace rather than one of stress and worries. We forget to savor the moment and get too caught up in preparing for what's coming to realize what is now. In making sure all the bases are covered, we forget to watch the game.

I don't know how to get back into that simplistic way of life. Once I do remember, life will be a little bit more bearable and a whole lot easier to live.