1. Wear the Rage Against The Machine T-shirts and know all the names of the Bolivian Revolutionaries. "Viva la Revolution. Down with those Capitalistic pigs! I hate farm animals! Oink."

2. Make sure anyone can get ahold of you at any time. That means get a beeper and a cell phone (even though you never really leave Denny's anyway because you have no place to go).

3. Get a new look. Spike your hair up and throw a little blond in there. And if mom doesn't get too pissed, pierce some sort of appendage. Maybe a go-tee if all goes well.

4. Expand your mind. Integrate the word "bitch" into your vocabulary - but don't limit yourself to one pronunciation. Also use words such as "phat" and "sick", they're bound to help those SAT scores.

5. Get one of those really Phat sound systems for your car that are so loud that only people outside your car can understand it. After all, other people are the ones who really matter, selfishness went out with the 80's.

6. Wear a belt for those really saggy jeans you bought at the Gap last summer, but act like you don't know what to do with it. It's sick, trust me.

7. Smoke cigars and act like you're part of the aristocracy (even though you only smoke Swisher Sweets). And if you're under 18, go to BP and do the same thing.

8. Right down all the "cool" bands you can think of on your backpack, but act like you did it in 8th grade if anybody asks (we don't want anybody catching onto our little scam do we?).

9. Act like you're hung-over everyday, when actually you just stayed up late playing video games.

10. Buy anything with the name "Tommy Hillfiger" on it. The more pricey the better. Think of it as a quality check (not of the clothing, but of the people who wear it).

There you go. Impress your friends, become the high school stud. It's the kewl thing to do. And if these steps don't work, then just tell everyone that I'm your best friend, because I am the god of being trendy.