Coordinator for Youth and Young Families

St. Joseph’s Parish in Chehalis provides formal religious education for elementary school children through a program of Sunday morning classes for children who do not attend St. Joseph Catholic School. We follow the Archdiocese’ curriculum, or class plan, which provides learning goals for each grade level.

None of us can lead a spiritually directed life by limiting religion to Sunday mornings. Nor can we expect children to acquire the attitudes, values, prayers, concepts, and preparation for Sacraments in a one-hour class held about 30 times a year.

The following guidelines are based on the Curriculum that we follow, but they provide easy suggestions for families who want to help their young children learn more effectively at the same time they refresh their own knowledge of Catholicism.

Here are some "teaching tips" to help you:

Make the learning session loving, fun or rewarding. Don’t say: "You’d better have that Hail Mary memorized by now." (Say, instead: "Let’s see how far we can get with the Hail Mary this morning.")

Connect the teaching to real events. Talk about the Mass or Scripture readings or the Eucharist on days that you attend Mass. Discuss moral issues, like lying or fighting, when there is an immediate reason to do so. These are called Teachable Moments because they make the learning less abstract and more real. Most of us learn better when we connect our learning to our lives.

Learn as you Teach. Every good teacher is a life-long learner. Admit when you don’t know something, and discuss ways of finding the answer with your child. ("Let’s ask Father about that." "Should we see if we can find the answer online?" "Let’s look in your textbook.") Small children love to feel that you are learning together, and older children like to find ways to stump their parents. Either way, everyone learns more.

Anytime you have an unanswered question about religious education or any topic in these pages, write me about it. I’ll find the answer for you, tell you where I found it, and maybe even answer it in this section. I have tons of resources, I love doing research, and I’ll be delighted to know that you’re actively involved in enriching your children’s religious education. E-mail me at: vrbrockman@localaccess.com or write me at P.O. Box 1182 Chehalis, WA 98532

Ginny Brockman

Learning Emphasis: Jesus, seen through the stories and parables of the New Testament, provides the closest link between the child and the whole mystery of God and salvation.

1. After each weekend Mass, talk about the Gospel reading and the homily. See if your child recalls the story and knows what it teaches. Sometimes a little child will learn as much by listening to older children discussing the reading as by answering direct questions.
2. Use Holy Water when you enter or leave Church and help your child make the Sign of the Cross. Be patient and gentle.
3. Ask your child to re-tell stories from scripture that are familiar and seasonal, like the Christmas story around Christmas time and the Easter Story near Easter.
4. Discuss the seasons in the Church during the relevant times: Advent; Christmas; Lent; and Easter. Talk about the life of Jesus as it relates to these seasons. Point out the ways that Church seasons are expressed in Church services and songs and decoration.
5. This is the age where a child learns to be a member of a community, and his Faith community is a perfect place to start. Teach about sharing by encouraging him to bring food for Food Drives, put part of his allowance in Sunday collections, or save in the Rice Bowl box during Lent. Help him experience other aspects of community by coming to the coffee hour after Mass, by volunteering for Church activities, and by attending classes with peers.
6. Regardless of your child’s age, she or he will learn more from imitating you than from anything you consciously try to teach. At the Kindergarten stage, children tend to have a special attraction to the parent of the opposite sex. A little boy of five or six may be more susceptible to teaching from his mother at this time, while a little girl may be more interested in her father’s teaching. Both parents should strive to take part in the children’s teaching. Even when only one parent is Catholic, it is important for a child to know that the parents agree about the need for religious training.
7. Begin to teach Kindergarteners the Hail Mary and Our Father. Some families pray the rosary aloud while they travel. Parents and children take turns leading, and the littlest children learn these prayers by listening and joining in

1. Let your son or daughter know that you are thankful that he or she is in your life. Help them express thanks in prayer and in every day family situations. (Grace before meals is one of our most common prayers of thanksgiving, but morning and evening prayers should also include thanks for the day, for those we love, for God’s creation, and for the happiness He brings to our lives.)
2. When you are moved by something that is beautiful, like a sunset on the ocean or the flowers in spring, talk with your child about the beauty of God’s creation as a special gift. Express your gratitude for such gifts in a spontaneous prayer of thanks.
3. If possible, let your child see you volunteering for a Church activity or for some other kind of charitable service. Talk about "Good Deeds" and encourage your child to think of a small kindness she can do for someone else each day.
4. Take your child on a tour of the Catholic Church in your parish. Point out the Altar, the Baptismal Font, the Sanctuary, the Tabernacle, statues of Saints, and the Lectern where Sacred Scriptures are read during Mass. (The words in italics are vocabulary words for this age group.)
5. Invite your Pastor to your house for dinner. It will help to create a better connection between your family and your faith. Children should see this visit as an honor, and they may even want to ask Father some questions about faith.
6. When you enter Church, teach your child to bless himself with Holy Water, genuflect or bow, and observe other liturgical practices like standing, kneeling, and sitting during parts of the Mass.
7. Teach your children the Bible stories about Christmas and Easter. Help them think about the happiness they can give to others by sharing greetings or gifts, rather than focusing only on what they will get from "Santa Claus" or the "Easter Bunny."
8. Practice the "Our Father" and "Hail Mary" and "Glory Be to the Father" with your children. Say the rosary together as a family, perhaps for special occasions like the Feast of the Assumption or on Grandma’s Birthday or during a long car ride. When children know the prayers well enough, reward them by letting them lead one decade.
9. Be sure that your child witnesses Sacraments like Baptism and Matrimony that happen within your Church and your family. Talk to him about the meaning of Sacraments, including those like the Eucharist and Reconciliation that are part of your regular spiritual life and will soon be part of theirs.

Learning Emphasis: Jesus nourishes us and strengthens God’s life, Grace, within us.

How you can help your child learn this year:

1. Most children in Second Grade are capable of knowing right from wrong. It is up to you to help them know that they are responsible for making a choice, and to teach them the skills that help them make good choices. Part of this teaching is to let them in on your own moral struggles. For example, you might say to a child, "Sometimes I don’t feel like going to Mass on Sunday. I can think of the BEST excuses to stay home. Then I think of how much God does for me, or I remember that I’m supposed to set a good example for you. Lots of times I’ve found that Mass seems even better if I didn’t want to go in the first place."
2. For many young Catholics, this is the year that they will experience their First Sacrament of Reconciliation and their First Sacrament of the Eucharist. One of the most important things parents and families can teach this year is a reverence and respect for these Sacraments, and weekly observance of Mass. A second grade child should be able to participate in Mass on Sunday in a respectful and observant manner.
3. Encourage your child to tell stories about Jesus in her own words. (Sometimes this will bring a smile to your face, but it’s important to respect the storyteller’s intent.)
4. Use a Catholic Calendar, like the one your Church provides each year, to find and circle some important Church feasts: Holy Week, The Ascension, and Pentecost are all connected to Easter in important ways. Use words like Crucifixion and Resurrection to further explain the meaning of Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
5. Before Mass, tell your child about the way the Mass is divided into sections. Talk about the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Use the opportunities provided by RCIA during Lent to show that the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the Sacramental heart of the Mass, requires special preparation for those who want to be accepted.
6. A child needs to learn the Act of Contrition this year, and the simple responses to Mass. If you have trouble with the Act of Contrition yourself, perhaps you can learn together. This is the recommended version of the Act of Contrition: My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered and died for us. In His name, my God, have mercy. Amen
7. If your child will receive her First Reconciliation and First Eucharist this year, you will want to enlist extended family, Godparents, and Catholic friends in preparing for the event and celebrating it in a special way. It’s especially meaningful to have an aunt share a loving remembrance of her First Communion, or to hear a big brother admit that he was a little nervous about his First Reconciliation. These stories help your child feel more secure as she prepares to participate in her Faith Community in a deeper way.

Learning Emphasis: Jesus continues His life and work through His Church.

How you can help your child learn this year:

1. During Third Grade, your child will learn much more about the Catholic Church and his place in his Faith Community. Your example, and that of other Catholics, will set the standard for his participation. Observe Holy Days with your child; attend Mass and receive the Sacraments frequently; talk about the feast days of the Church and borrow videos from the Church library that dramatize special occasions in the Church.
2. Encourage her to role-play interesting stories from Scripture. (You might say, "I wonder what Mary said when she realized that Jesus would be born in a stable." Or "How would you act if Jesus came up to you before Communion and offered to wash your feet, like he did with his Apostles at the Last supper?")
3. There are excellent flash cards, books, games, and magazines that help children understand basic things about the Catholic Church. These days, even Recorded Books include lives of Saints and Scripture stories, biographies of famous Catholics, and stories about children who make heroic moral decisions. These are good items for a "Back Seat Treasure Chest," a collection of books, games, etc. that children can use when they get bored on a trip.
4. It’s time to teach the Apostle’s Creed. Make it more memorable by discussing what each phrase means as you go along.
5. By now your child may have noticed that some people say prayers a little differently than others. If he asks why Grandma says, "The Lord is with thee" in the Hail Mary, and you say, "The Lord is with YOU" explain that the way people used language has changed. See if he can change a prayer into his own words. (E.g. "Our Father, living up in heaven, we should always respect your name...)
6. Help your child understand the roles of Catholics within the Church: Bishop, Deacon, Lay Man, Lay Woman, Pastor, Pope, Priest, Religious Sister or Brother. (These are some of this year’s vocabulary words.)
7. Play "What if…" games with your child to see if she understands what it means to be a Catholic. (E.g., "What would you say if someone told you that Catholics aren’t Christians? "What would you do if your friends tried to talk you out of going to Mass on Sunday?)

Learning Emphasis: Because we are called to live as Jesus did, we choose to live a life of love, characterized by obedience to God and service to others.

How you can help your child learn this year:

1. As amazing as it seems, a child of nine or ten can reflect on his own behavior and make pretty mature decisions about what is right and wrong. The stronger his faith, the likelier that he will make moral decisions. By the time he is in fourth grade he knows that Goodness isn’t just avoiding evil. Real Goodness means that we have to choose to do good deeds. This is a wonderful time to teach the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy—and to teach them by DOING them in partnership with your child. Take him to see your Aunt in the nursing home and give him a special responsibility like reading to her, or bringing her flowers from your garden. Suggest that he pick up your elderly neighbor’s paper from the yard and put it on her porch. Encourage him to offer to help you serve or clean up at Church functions. Afterwards, reflect together on the way good works make you feel when you do them. Reflect, too, on how it feels when someone does something kind for you. These reflections will strengthen his conscience and his sense of morality.
2. A child is often drawn to a particular hero at this age. It is up to you to be sure that the person she chooses is worthy of her devotion. If she idolizes someone (like Britney Spears) who is superficial, amoral, and inappropriate you won’t get far by attacking her idol. Ask what she admires about Britney, or whether she thinks Britney would be kind to her if they met on the street. Help her understand the difference between image and substance. Then make sure your child has some exposure to real heroes. (Talk about the little girl who donated a kidney to save her big sister; the Saint who chose to die rather than sin; the mother who dashed into a burning building to rescue her children; the woman who volunteered every Saturday in a prison.) Encourage your child to make moral comparisons between false heroes like Britney and real heroes.
3. Ask your child to lead prayers like Grace before meals, or the Rosary. Teach the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary and pray the Rosary together to help her remember the prayers.
4. Walk through the Stations of the Cross with your child, just talking quietly about the story behind each Station. Encourage him to relate each station to something in his life. (Have you ever felt like you were blamed for something you didn’t do? How did that feel? How do you think Jesus felt when the people He came to help blamed him?) When you share the Stations with him later, as a ritual of prayer, they will have more meaning if he has made a personal connection.
5. Start a family tradition called PERSON OF THE YEAR. Make a list of the ways that good people acted—kind, loving, brave, unselfish, gentle, and strong, for example. Then select a few people you know—a neighbor, a family member, a Church member, a teacher, a friend or others worthy of the honor. Compare the qualities and decide who should receive your family’s award. Give that person a homemade award (a crayon picture or a batch of chocolate chip cookies) along with a short letter telling why your family chose him or her for the honor. The selection process will teach your children a lot about morals and values and it will give you a lot of insight into your family’s moral development.

Learning Emphasis: Because we are called to live as Jesus did, we choose to live a life of love, characterized by obedience to God and service to others.

How you can help your child learn this year:

1. Whenever possible, make sure that your family participates in Sacramental observances Baptisms, Confirmation, Matrimony, Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick, and Holy Orders. Prepare for these occasions with your child and discuss the meanings of each Sacrament. Other shared experiences, like funerals and Holy Days and Stations of the Cross are also an important part of your child’s Catholic learning.
2. Give your child opportunities for service, whether it is in school, at Church, in the home, among neighbors or extended family. Let him know how you serve others, encourage him to choose a way to serve others, and share the feelings and experiences you both have when you serve others.
3. Your child’s sense of social consciousness is expanding rapidly, and it is important for her to hear you speak out against social injustice, prejudice, and other social ills. It is important not to blame society’s victims (the Homeless, those who are mentally ill, etc.), but to look at GREED and SELFISHNESS and an absence of virtue in society as the root causes for social ills.
4. Children absorb negative values from television. It is a good idea to allow them to watch only when you are present. Then you can discuss what you see and share your values with them instead of letting them believe that everything they see is acceptable. Apply critical thinking to commercials, too. Ask them if they can figure out how the advertisers are trying to manipulate them with each commercial. This can become a family game that sharpens critical thinking skills and empowers children to fight back against programming.
5. If your child is learning a prayer that you don’t know by heart, make a commitment to learn it along with her. (This year children should master the Gloria and the Apostle’s Creed, along with the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary.)
6. A child with younger siblings will learn a great deal by helping teach prayers and devotions to the younger children. Encourage the older child to teach the way he would want to be taught if he were the younger child. Be sure to provide games, colorful books, and other helpful aids like Flash Cards and videos. (Some of these are available at the Parish office, others can be found at Parish religious goods sales, online at a number of sites, or in Religious Goods stores or catalogs.

Learning Emphasis: God’s saving actions are found throughout history. The Bible, written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, records God’s plan of salvation.

1. This year your child will begin to seriously explore the Old Testament, and your family can assist by helping "dig for Biblical roots." Some families approach this as a genealogical search. (Who was Jesus’ family? What happened to Abraham’s sons?) Some enjoy looking into the historical aspects. (Who were the rulers at that time? What battles were fought?) Many sixth graders are especially drawn to archaeology and anthropology, and dozens of books are written for that age level about archaeological exploration of Biblical sites, and about the people who lived in ancient times. Supplement your child’s study of the Old Testament with books or videos that correspond with her particular interests.
2. After Sunday Mass, ask your child if he can tell you why he thinks the readings were selected to be read together. Ask if there is a thread of teaching that runs through them. (Often the homily will make that connection.)
3. By now your child will be asking questions that are difficult for you to answer, either about the Church or about general morality and behavior. It is crucial that you give attention to these questions, and seek answers with them. It’s all right to say, "I used to be able to answer that, but now I’m not sure. Who do you think we should we ask?" It’s especially hard to answer questions about other Catholics whose beliefs are more or less conservative or liberal than yours. You may say, "Grandpa really believes in kneeling to receive Communion. I think that’s a beautiful custom, but I was raised differently. You may choose to kneel, to genuflect, or to stand." Just as Ecumenism teaches us that there are many paths to God, it also asks us to accept that there are differences among Catholics, as well. As long as the basic laws of the Church are observed, there is room for considerable difference in styles of worship.
4. Your child is learning through study of the Bible, how often Jesus helped those who were considered outcasts of society. The same kinds of people are still considered social outcasts—the poor, the homeless, those with disfiguring diseases, the mentally ill or developmentally disabled, those with different cultural backgrounds, etc. Encourage your child to reflect on these people, trying to imagine why God surrounds us with so many kinds of people. What can we learn from people with many needs? How can we learn to love and serve others in need? What might we lack that these others have in abundance? (Humility, simplicity, reverence, gratitude?)
5. When your child is faced with difficult moral decisions, as she will be now that she is older, she may cross-examine you about your own moral beliefs. Instead of giving her pre-digested answers, enter into a real discussion with her. It will give you an opportunity to learn how she thinks through moral issues; it will make her stronger because you show respect for her thought processes; and it will allow you to guide her moral reasoning.
6. Teach yourself and your child to look for God inside everybody, even those you don’t particularly like. When you see God inside of someone, you will treat that person differently and the person is likely to respond differently in return. You can experiment by doing a kindness to someone who has been unfriendly. (E.g., Your elderly neighbor hates kids and constantly complains about your six. Send one of the children over with a plate of warm cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning, or buy a Birthday card for all the children to sign when his birthday rolls around. Encourage the children to be friendly and respectful.)

Learning Emphasis: Jesus is God’s gift to the world. Jesus is the self-revelation of God, the source of salvation, and the focus of Catholic Faith.

1. Children are living more and more in the world now, and they are faced with moral dilemmas that are diverse and challenging. Parents must teach them how to use the resources of their upbringing, their faith, and their own courage and critical thinking skills to make wise decisions. Teach them to ask, "What would Jesus do?" and help them examine important issues of the day in the light of Scripture, Church teaching, and moral reasoning. (E.g., Imagine that you’ve seen a news story on television about a newborn baby found in a basket in a Catholic Church. You might ask, "Why do you think the mother (or father) abandoned the baby? Why in Church? Was that a good place to put it? What else could its parents have done? Should the parents be punished for abandoning the baby here? The discussion can go many ways. Your child might think that the Church was a good place to leave the baby because God would watch over it. She may think the baby’s mother was wicked or cowardly or heroic—depending on how she interprets the event. Don’t try to force her to adopt your point of view—just help her get clear about what she believes. You may find that she is more forgiving and less cynical than you, and that isn’t a bad thing to be. Or you may find her very judgmental and harsh, possibly because she has limited exposure to the weakness we’re all capable of at times. You might say, "That sounds rather harsh. Why do you feel that way?" If you keep communication open with your children during the next few years, you may learn even more than they do.
2. Make a point of encouraging everyone in the family to take part in a Church Ministry, once they are old enough. Your child may be a Mass Server, a choir member, a greeter, etc. Sometimes children begin in these ministries by assisting their parents.
3. Encourage regular participation in the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Reconciliation. Suggest that they discuss particular moral dilemmas with the Priest when they receive Reconciliation, or ask the Priest for guidance in overcoming a bad habit.
4. If you don’t know the Nicene Creed by heart, take this opportunity to learn it with your child.
5. Give your child opportunities for leadership in your home. Children who are capable of leading younger siblings, cousins, or even adults are more likely to resist peer pressure to do things they know are wrong. (Children at this age may be asked to draw up the week’s list of household tasks and recruit people to do each task; or see that everyone is ready for Church on time; or organize a family Birthday Party. Some children are more responsible than others—fit the job to the child and her specific interests and abilities.)
6. Negotiate with your child to solve disputes and to teach alternatives to fighting. (E.g., Imagine that your son complains about walking home after basketball practice on Monday’s because it makes him late for the Game he likes to watch with his brothers. Likewise, you nag him because he never takes the garbage out without grumbling. You might negotiate an agreement where he takes out the garbage every Tuesday and Saturday without being told, and without complaining, and you drive him home from practice. If he doesn’t do his part, he walks home.
7. Support your child in acceptable activities outside the home, like sports, band, church groups, etc., but don’t let these groups take the place of shared family activity. Be especially careful not to give the message that you value her sports ability more than her morality; her popularity more than her common sense; or her charm more than her industriousness. The values of this age can be very superficial, and those with strong morals and intelligence may seem like unhappy misfits. It is up to parents to reward the right behavior, because peers are not inclined to do so.

Learning Emphasis: "The one mediator, Christ, established and ever sustains here on earth his holy Church, the community of faith, hope and charity, as a visible organization through which he communicates truth and grace to all…" (Catechism of the Catholic Church #771)

How you can help your child learn this year:

1. Children have usually developed a worldview by this time, and it is up to you to ensure that the view is based on love and tolerance rather than prejudice and hatred. If you haven’t learned it by heart yet, this is a good time to learn the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi with your child, and to reflect together on the high level of spirituality the prayer seeks.
2. Encourage your child to find phrases in Holy Scripture, prayers, songs, poetry, etc. that help them remember something that they believe in deeply. In the many years that I was away from Catholicism I kept St. Francis’ Prayer in my wallet because it said something I never wanted to forget—something that was deeply a part of me. If you have a favorite prayer or song or phrase, share that with your child and explain how it has helped keep you on track.
3. Your child will get a great deal of support from friends and society to take the easy way in moral matters and to shed the beliefs she was raised with. This is also the age when children begin to look for their own truth through greater independence from parents. Remember yourself at this age. Were you rebellious or obedient? How did you feel about rebellious people? Did you ever rebel? Did you misbehave when others weren’t noticing? Is your child following your path or the opposite path? What helped you and what made you worse? Don’t idealize yourself—look at who you really were. Ask your parents, too. At the very least, it will remind you of the turmoil of this age.
4. Volunteer actively and enthusiastically in providing, planning, and supporting youth events through your Church. This is one way of reinforcing what is best in youthful relationships without supporting activities that are destructive to your child’s spirituality.
5. Take turns with other Catholic parents hosting events in your homes that are appropriately monitored. Ask your child to participate in planning her own Birthday party, and provide a space where young people can enjoy each other’s company without using alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Your child should have some good ideas for having fun—a pizza party after a basketball game; a swimming party at the public pool; a trip to a skate park in a neighboring town with parents’ driving, etc.)
6. Explore aspects of Catholicism with your whole family. Attend Mass at St. James Cathedral; visit particular shrines or gardens; wander through historical cemeteries like the one at St. Francis Xavier in Toledo and discuss the history that brought Catholicism to the area. When you travel, check out different Churches and compare the services and the facilities to your home parish.

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Last modified: September 28, 2003