1. Start the day by giving yourself plenty of time to get ready for Mass; be sure everyone has had enough to eat; don’t let yourself get anxious and upset; prepare for Mass as a joyful event to share, instead of a duty or obligation. If you aren’t stressed out, your children will behave better.
2. Model the behavior you want your children to imitate. Participate fully by singing, following in your book, and watching what is happening at the altar. If little children understand that you find the Mass interesting and important, they are likely to follow your example. Little children often like to be held while you are singing—they think you are singing to them.
3. Sit in a place where children have an unobstructed view of the celebration of the Mass. When they are very small, kids will be more attentive if they can see the Priest, the Mass servers, the choir, and the lines of people receiving communion. When they are older, they are more aware of being seen and that can make them behave better. There are doors up front, too, so you can take them out if they misbehave—and the bathrooms are closer as well.
4. Teach your little children the Catholic rituals like using Holy Water, making the Sign of the Cross, bowing or genuflecting, etc., every time you use them yourself. Praise them when they do well, but don’t get angry when they don’t. You want them to see the Mass as a positive experience, and the Church as a refuge from anger and negativity.
5. Make sure that each child has age-appropriate books with which to follow the Mass. Our new brown prayer books are handier for older children who have trouble finding the right pages for readings. Babies and toddlers will love to follow along in a board book, like WE GO TO MASS by George Brundage.
6. Make church attendance a privilege from the time children are infants. When they begin to understand your words, tell them that they can come to Mass with you if they are very good. If they misbehave, put them in the nursery program until they are "big enough" to join you again.
7. Make Mass the beginning of special family time each Sunday or Saturday evening. Go to Mass, then have lunch together. You can go to a fast food restaurant, bring a picnic lunch in nice weather, order a pizza with another family, or go to Grandpa and Grandma’s for lunch. If children behave badly in church, you just cancel the after-church activity and go home.
8. Visit the church with your children during quiet times to introduce them to religious symbols and seasonal changes like the Nativity Scene at Christmas, the Stations of the Cross during Lent, the Baptismal Font and Altar and Tabernacle at other times. Tell them stories to help them understand liturgical seasons. Your stories will help them to understand the basis for your family’s faith.
9. After Mass, ask your children specific questions to help their awareness grow. (E.g., "Did you notice the family who took the gifts to the altar? Why do you think they did that?" or "Why do you think Father was wearing purple today?") Supply the answers if they don’t know, and ask more complex questions as they learn more.
10. If your children are older and obnoxious, you might have to enlist the help of someone else to get them under control. Ask another parishioner (preferably someone your child doesn’t know too well) to tap them on the shoulder if they act up, or have your unruly child sit with them this week. Choose someone who is capable of being firm but kind. Tell your child to sit with Mr. and Mrs. Smith so you can take part in the Mass without interruption today.
11. If an older child misbehaves to an extent that visibly annoys someone near you, insist that the child apologize after Mass. If your child refuses, take her or him with you and apologize to the person on your child’s behalf. (e.g., I’m sorry Jason behaved so poorly today, Mr. Edwards. I’m sure he will try to do better next week.)
12. Make sure that praise and Thanksgiving for Creation are a part of your family’s daily lives. Express gratitude for flowers and birds, the wonders of nature, the changing seasons and how they correspond to the Seasons in the Church. Children have a sense of wonder that is too often lost as they grow up. When we share their amazement at a butterfly or a raindrop, we teach reverence for all of Creation. That reverence is the path to worship and faith.

Ginny Brockman 2001

Updated 4/11/02